tonight im a little bit emotional than ever , i dont know why . well actually i do .
it all started tadi around 6pm . i was watching glee . and that episode was about sue losing her sister that was very close to her . and she said something that touched me a lot . she said
if she could hug her sister tightly for one more time , just for ten seconds , because i miss her too much ,
is it that hard for just giving her one last hug . i cried at that moment and remembered of someone that means a lot to me , Abu Bakar bin Ahmad which is my dearest father .
before he died , he called me a lot . to check up on me , then one day ,
on the 15th of june 2006 , i watched a football match that morning at 3 o'clock . after the game i felt asleep smpai tak ingat dunia huhu , i woke up because my phone was ringing non stop , it was annoying . so i finally picked it up somehow , so it would just shut up . on the line was my aunt on my father's side , makcik noi . she simply asked if it was me , so i said hi . she introduced herself , and the next thing she said was
" yani , sabar , yani sabar okay " . the first thing that came thorugh my mind was makcik aku ni dahh nyanyuk ke ape ? then she said "yani , ayah daa tak ada " . i felt everything was dark , i could not breathe , i felt like a stack of bricks just fell on top of me .
when i saw the jenazah , dia macam tengah tidur je , he looked so peaceful .
at that tme i just wished i could hug him for one more time and tell him how much i need him .
but i believe Allah lagi sayang dia . so i had to let him go .i havent been a good daughter seriously, i really wish that i coud turn back time and make things right , but then i cant , i do miss him a lot . he liked to kiss me on the forehead and hugged me tightly , i want that even more than ever now . but seriously i couldnt turn back time . so i finally redha with everything . even though it took me sometime .
Bismillahirahmanirrahim
ya Allah , kau lapangkanlah dan terangkanlah kubur Abu Bakar bin Ahmad , lepaskanlah hambaMu ini dari seksaan di dalam kubur , di padang mahsyar dan di akhirat ya Allah , begitu juga dengan semua muslimin dan muslimat yang telah dan akan kembali ke rahmatullah .
Amin amin ya rabbal alamin .
for those who happens to read my blog , do recite alfatihah for him please , thank you .
Alfatihah .
